Insecurity…

The other day, I was talking to my sister about a new work out program at the gym. I was nervous – and still am about attending the first class. It is a “tri-club”; Thursdays workouts involve both a 45 min swim, with a coach and a 45 minute spin class. When thinking about starting something new, my mind starts spinning.

I want to be able to do these things. I inquire about the details. I sign up. I pay the money. But, when the time comes, I have this anxious – “I don’t think I can do it moment” and I want to quit. As evident in the title of this blog, I develop some insecurity. It is at those moments, I say to myself, “this seemed like such a good idea three months ago”.

I know am physically strong enough to complete them. Sometimes, I am just not mentally strong enough.

I have been told that much of running is a mental game. I find that same thing to be true in all my workouts. I have a training schedule that is completely achievable. Yet, the workouts intimidate me. I have reached the point where I am approaching new limits. When I head to the pool – my goal is 2.25 km. I have never swum that far at one time. The same is true for running; yesterday was my longest run ever – 4.5 miles. Even though, I have my longest bike ride was about 40 miles, I am intimidated by a few of my group rides because I don’t want to be last and I don’t want to hold anyone back.

I am prepared. My legs know they can run 4.5 miles. My hips and shoulders know I can swim 2 km. But, as I approach the pool, my mind tells a totally different story. While I am working out, I will think of a million reasons why I could quit.

My sister’s response was, “Stop being so insecure, it is boring”. This hurt my feelings at first. Then I read this blog about Strength and Confidence. Today, however, I have decided to make it my mantra.

I don’t want to be boring OR insecure. I am going to a tri club meeting. I am going to run 5 miles next Saturday. Instead of worrying that I can’t do it. I am going to focus on the sense of achievement which will herald a new level of confidence. This confidence shall overpower my insecurity.